List #003. New Year's Resolutions of a sensitive police detective

1. Need a catchphrase. Preferably something flexible, like "Eat lead salad." Could be changed to "Eat a lead bagel" for kosher suspects.
2. Appear on World's Craziest Police Chases. Murphy's been on it twice now, it's getting embarrassing...
3. Learn to like asparagus. You're a grown man, for God's sake.
4. Shake up the standard - and frankly unoriginal - donuts in the office routine. Maybe bring in pains au chocolat? Could even try and make Ferrero Rocher Friday a thing. I'll be spoiling them!
5. Having shot a bad guy, instead of biting back tears and muttering "He's in a better place now", pump your fist in the air and say something cool like "I sentence you to life... in Hell", or "Woo!"
6. Set a station fashion trend like Murphy's whole odd socks thing by growing a retro 70s cop moustache.
7. Stop partnering up with grizzled detectives on their "last case." It always turns into a massive stress.
8. Try corruption for at least a week. Everyone else does it; maybe you'll enjoy it! Never know if you don't try...
9. Invite the boys round for a movie marathon. Potential themes: Gangster films (ironic), classic Disney (everyone loves it), Werner Herzog documentaries (tough but very rewarding).
10. Create a more upbeat playlist for car chases. Simon and Garfunkel isn't cutting it.
11. Ask out Marie from the zoo. Stop being intimidated just because she's friends with the lions.
12. Boost confidence with women by practicing chat up lines on prostitutes in holding cells then asking them for feedback.
13. Start a Twitter account for the station. Try and make #justiceforall trend.
14. Stop clamming up when presented with deceased victims at crime scenes. Prepare five or six snappy one-liners in advance, such as "Looks like he caught the train to Dead Town" (work on this).
15. When quizzed by other cops, your favourite film is Bad Boys 2, not La Vie en Rose, even though, in your heart of hearts, you know Marion Cotillard's performance was pure poetry.